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Saturday 29 June 2013

My Confession

Hi guys, I am back, I know at this moment  normally I will say 'It has been like several months from my last entry', I know this sentence seems to appear in all of my entries though it's still the fact, I just can't help it.

Anyway, what I wanna tell in this post is as the title of the post named, which is a post regarding my confession to my one long lost friend. If you are in my Facebook friend lists you might have noticed that I had posted  a status recently about 

' I personally think that the act of people expressing their emotional thoughts/critisms of others who irritate/frustrate them is an immature way of living'.

Yes, it's true that's what I sincerely currently feel but for those who followed my blog few years back then could have thought this is a laughter or just irony because I wrote a post on how I hate someone 3 years ago. Well, this is why I am here writing this post as my confession to that person involved in my related old entry.

Once I wrote how the related person affected my life how annoying I felt how irritated she was how and how and so and even saying she's just a nightmare of mine *well that post I already deleted long ago, you not gonna get the chance to read it*. At that time you know I seldom logged in to check my blog and stuffs while I rather spent my time with other things that I'm more potential of.. When I looked back to it after several weeks I was so surprised because she actually was a reader of mine and she read it and left me a comment!

Well can you imagine how a person suppose to react at that time when you just got noticed the person that you don't like * p/s:at that time* is actually an invisible reader of you? However, I didn't give too much of thoughts I also forgot how I reacted maybe I just ignored and hypnotized myself saying that I didn't do anything wrong that's how I truly feel after all.. 

But for all I had taken that happened, I realized writing about others' bad or criticizing about others' shorts in public isn't a good way of living. It not just killing people by words but also hurting people with all your unoptimistic angle of thinking. It had even became a totally black spot of my growth for all these years. I wanted to do something indeed, Idk, at that time I even started to stalk back to look back to her but I just can't because I just can't find any public page that owned by her after how many 1000x I googled her through my search engine. 

Well, life is always out of your expectation. Few days before, when I was still not around the country I just by chance saw her fb profile win my notification about her commented at my brother's status which the same to me not so earlier ago. What the first thought in my mind is, Ok right, I finally found her. 

After almost 2 weeks of thinking, I finally made my decision to personal message her. Gosh, I could have ignore and ignore her, because after all we may never ever meet each other again or having mutual friends in the social circle but no I didn't at last I chose to apologize to her. I even told her I was so sorry about my act of writing that of her in a public page, well I also so sad of myself for all the hurts I could have brought to her. For all I need is just she can accept it, well treating me as friend or not will be talking later, at least for my immature act of youth I would call it. One thing of her was right in her comment at that time which I would never deny is that as friend, as we were really once a friend, we should have told her about her inappropriate acts or our discomfort feelings instead of badmouthing in the back like this. This is also the same as robbing away her chance to be a better person, this is my fault. Besides, she might have changed and no longer like that as we were separated I could not know and how could I kill her changes simply like that? Well I am really sorry about that.

However, I'm still the lucky one. She replied me at the same night I personal messaged her, she meant all the pasts are passed, we should look forward. Yes, she forgive that and hoping we're still friend after all;)

Guys, this is a good example telling us nothing is ever too late. If you have done something which you think you were so wrong due to your past immature-nes just go ahead and grab your chance now, when you're still holding it. Always remember, the bravest person is the one who able to admit, to make changes to their past flaws.

Lastly, wish you all the best to whoever willing to step forward to make the changes. Good day :)