Dark sides

                  It has been a very long time since the last time I entered my blog and updated it. I have been always thinking whether to continue running it, if yes, what types of blog I want it to be? Fashion? Food? Skin Care? Lastly, I just want it to be my soul land for this moment at least, place that I can huge with, hide in. So it matches well with the theme of this blog, peace land. I also don't know do anyone reading my blog actually, so if yes please give me some responses, leave comments and say Hi to me?
                   There are so much up and falls happened during these gaps, time that I stopped my blog writes till now, more than that I could take, and slipped away before I could response in time. They are all sorts of mental, physical and psychological strugglings. I'm not gonna talk about it because things that had happened will never be changed...the only thing can be changed is how we take it. Since then I have totally another me. I used to be a quiet person except with my closest BFFs, undoubtedly I like peace environment. Now I'm still a quiet person and even with friends around me....I just find that like to see them, observe, and think more than talking. I appreciate them, I appreciate my family, especially my mum...she always give me the thoughts that her arms are the safest place ever for me...I am a tough, very tough and independent person in front of her....I didn't want to scare her indeed how much i wish i could cry in her arms...for even a second? I am stronger now, and colder...only coldness can sweep away the darkness, my pain and hurting, I must live with dignity.
                   After all these, the only thing that still left very clear in my mind and I still believe in is knowledge can change one's life. I want to get higher achievement in my education, so I will have better career. I want money, I like money,BUT I am not the person who letting hand out and asking parents for money, because I live with dignity, this has never been changed since I was still a child. I will never use my parents' money which earned with sweats and blood for my own desires. In turn, I pretty like the feelings of giving money to them instead of asking from them. This is me. I want money, I will earn it. I have been looking  for a stable job for a Uni student, that does not affect my studies. I have been thinking for many ways, but mostly not work. If anyone of you know, do inform me and I really do appreciate a lots but please no frauds. and so after all I want to have an online shop...I'm still thinking what to sell..something that can give me consistent profits and able to keep my business running. Anyhow, transportation fares to M'sia is expensive, so I ended up spending bunch for shopping...not earning:(((maybe if you know the cheapest and reliable ways please do inform me too. Maybe the I will show the goods that I shopped, comments are very welcome because your comments are part of my surveys although I don't expect I will get comments!!!!

:)

爱情，可以等待吗？ 以前认为，假如对方爱你，就算再久，他也应该踏在原地的等待； 现在懂得，也许在等待你的过程中，他身边已出现了不错的对象， 而你的再次回来，会否自己的自私而令他错过了他的幸福呢？这样好吗？

矛盾

最近心里总是有许多复杂的感觉。这些感觉的存在不是因为我发生了什么事，而是因为我的一位朋友。

我不知如何去告知那位朋友我的感受，我的看法，不知该如何去劝她，因为连我自己也很矛盾，所以我只好用写的了。我矛盾，因为我怕我的话，最后会把她害得遍体鳞伤，也或许因为我的话，到最后她得到了幸福……这真的令人很矛盾，对吧？

她说，她是否还该等下去？再等下去又有什么意义，她真的很想放弃……他连问他的父母回来summer holiday都没有勇气，而她却可以因为他千里迢迢的去到一个她不熟悉的地方，面对四周的陌生人，只为了见他…….

我知道她觉得很难过很委屈，这一点，我明白。可惜，爱一个人，总会为他做出许多傻事，而在爱里，不是说你付出多少就该得到多少回报。这是多么天真无知的想法，我相信你和我比谁都还要明白，不是吗？

我好想让你知道，换作是我面对这样的事情，我依然会继续等下去，因为我相信假如可以，哪怕有一天，他会回来见她。也许是因为处女座的挚作倔强，既然我爱了，我就会一直得爱下去，无怨无悔。我知道他也是处女座的，可是他是怎样想的，我不知道，毕竟不是每一个处女座的人都是一样的吧。我想，只有她最清楚他。

人，总是知不能为，而为之。为何不放手一搏呢？哪怕胜利也好，失败也好，那又如何？我爱过了，我努力过，我心甘情愿：）总之不能轻言放弃，因为爱一个人是幸福的，为他付出是幸福的，看见他活得幸福，我应该要觉得快乐。
好了，该说的我都说了，希望你明白。你可以不同意，因为这只是我个人的想法。不要哭, 最重要的是你觉得值得，你活得快乐，幸福，知道吗，ky？

*最后，想说大家一定要去看这部中国连戏剧，《来不及说，我爱你》。真的很好看，他们的爱情故事很感人，令人很心疼，我重头哭到尾。不喜欢这类型戏的朋友就forget about it吧。

家国万里，关山如雪，乱世惊梦，半生繁华，她与他终究是情深缘浅，长恨如歌……

还想说一声，贝贝，我爱你，一辈子。

Have faith，nic♥